Did a great job today. Being loving with myself and feeding my soul with different elemental energies/motivations. I had tea and healthy breakfast, time in nature, time to relax, and time to exercise and be in my body for Earth – my tangible foundations.
I tried writing, drawing, reading poetry, story telling, dancing, and singing for fire, my creative & destructive passionate energy.
I connected with self through journaling, and with friends for love, joy, support, and for mutually nurturing vibes: feeding and honoring my water element – that of my emotional and spiritual realm.
I took action, connected with others, established clarity in my own mind about what I need and what I am capable of giving, which fed my Air element (that of communication, mental prowess, and action or manifestation).
In being receptive to sacred transformation by engaging in ritual space and being gentle and compassionate and understanding with myself, which flowed over to others, I allowed myself to engage with my spirit element (the “higher” or deeper powers of divinity, divine connection, divine masculinity & femininity, peace, and sacred transformation for my studies).
I’m able to process so much more information now, versus several years ago, but I haven’t embraced my autonomy in managing my time or investing my energy. When working on one project, or investing in one connection, I feel often as if I am ignoring something or someone else I care deeply about. It’s fear & it’s not allowing myself to be open to experiencing the present moment. It’s feeling not enough or too much, & it’s wanting to prove myself in order to receive a feeling of being greatly loved and loving.
But: that energy belittling and condemning myself is costing me energy that can be reinvested into activities and experiences that nurture me, restore me, and help me to grow.
Finally getting to a place where I can really nurture myself… It feels good.
So many magical babies and parents raising these magical babies with their faeries and and starlight and dust.
I’m so honored to know you all.
I have a tendency to romanticize the past,
I make up reasons and excuses for why things didn’t last.
I beat myself up when I’m lonely and try to keep up with friends far away even at the expense of my self care, or creative expression, or whatever else is flaring up at the time.
But I am grateful for my kind hearted souls, the ones who seem to read my mind even when we haven’t spoken in months or years, those who love me whether we talked last week or only a few times in the last decade. I’m lucky to have such creative, loving souls in my life. Thanks for inspiring me and loving me through all the chaos and wonder.
You all beautiful folks, you know.